Jason Beymer’s Balls-Out Fifty Dollar Giveaway Contest

Posted by on Dec 7, 2010 in Adrien Luc-Sanders, Amazon.com, contest, gift card, Jason Beymer, rogue's curse

Okay, I’ve dusted off the big guns. This contest just went nuclear.

Ho, ho, ho! I’m giving away one $50 Amazon Gift Card. That’s fifty whole bucks you can spend on friends and family. ‘Cause the Holidays are a time to think about others. Right? YEAH RIGHT! Use the money to sweeten up your Kindle, trade it in for 5000 pennies, or buy yourself somethin’ nice (like Rogue’s Curse, for example. I’m just saying…)

My editor for Rogue’s Curse, Adrien-Luc Sanders is putting up most of the jack (Visit his blog here). Why are we doing this? Because both of us believe in the book and want you to buy it. And…well, you know…we like the attention.

Entering the contest is easy. We want to give away this money, so qualifying requires minimal effort on your part:

STEP ONE: If you haven’t already, connect with me on one of these social sites (the links will take you there):


Follow me” or “Become a Fan” or “Add my Book”, or “Friend” me (or whatever else you want to do). If you’ve already done this in the past, you’re halfway there! Proceed to Step Two.

STEP TWO: Leave a comment here. Say howdy, or something. Or…maybe tell people why they should buy Rogue’s Curse? (again, I’m just saying…)

On Wednesday, December 22, I’ll draw the winner’s name from a highly technical and complicated lottery mechanism. Then I’ll reveal the winner and email the gift card.

Yay, technology!

Please spread the word.
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The “Name Your Pet Clovort” Contest

Posted by on Aug 30, 2010 in clovort, contest, rogue's curse

Rogue’s Curse is available for download at Lyrical Press and Amazon.com, but I’m itching to email one shiny copy to someone. This is my first contest, so I’ll make it simple. And no, I’m not giving away a pet clovort. That would be illegal. Clovorts are nasty monsters with a taste for human flesh. They’ll eat anyone—and I mean ANYONE—which makes them efficient disposals of homicidal evidence. So yes, they come in handy. But no, you can’t have mine.

What does a clovort look like? Well, Oompus is the first clovort you’ll meet in Rogue’s Curse. He stands 8 feet tall and weighs 600 pounds. Here’s an excerpt describing his entrance:

“The clovort’s bull-like head quivered and his lips parted, revealing jagged yellow teeth. His face was bumpy, as if layered over solid bedrock. His bare, squat legs rippled with muscle at the calf, but were fleshy and gelatinous at the thigh. Oompus’s hoofed feet, obscured by long ankle hair, clopped against the floor, barely supporting the extraordinary weight of his naked frame.”

Cute, huh? Here’s how to enter the drawing:

STEP ONE: Comment on this blog post with an answer to “What would you name your pet clovort?”

STEP TWO: “Follow” or “Like” me on at least one of these:

Facebook Page

If you already do, then you’ve already completed this step.

That’s it. I may even use your pet clovort’s name in the sequel to Rogue’s Curse. You can comment as many times as you’d like, but you only get one entry. If you’re feeling creative, tell me who you might feed to a clovort, how you would dress it, etc.

On Monday, September 13th, I’ll throw all your names in a big imaginary top-hat. Either my pet clovort or my six-year old daughter will pull one out. Completely random. I’ll announce the winner the same day. You tell me what format you want the eBook in and I’ll email it to you.

Thanks, and please spread the word!
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Rogue’s Curse – Now With Longer Excerpt!

Posted by on Aug 19, 2010 in Amazon.com, excerpt, Jason Beymer, lyrical press, rogue's curse

For those of you who still haven’t purchased Rogue’s Curse, here’s a longer excerpt to entice you into buying it. You can get it at Amazon, or at Lyrical Press, and lots of other online distributers (a Google search shows a bunch). If you have any questions about the format, how to purchase or anything else please ask me: jason@beerandtv.com. 


Doban scavenged the dead bodies for a replacement leather tunic. Oompus hadn’t shown much restraint with his claws, leaving the flayed flesh of his victims indistinguishable from their leather apparel. But since Doban didn’t mind the blood, his choices were numerous. He discovered the perfect tunic, one slathered with innards and clovort drool.

“Your fashion sense hasn’t changed much,” Mona said, stepping off the table. She threw the fallen cloak around her shoulders. 

Doban gave Mona a stern look. “I guess we can leave now. Tag’s horse is around back. We could take mine, but he probably starved to death by the hitching post.” 

Mona folded her arms. “I brought my own horse.” 

Doban stirred a bloody puddle on the floor with his boot. “Oh. Well, I thought we could share. But I guess if you want to do it that way–” 

Mona slapped him. It wasn’t the first time, as evidenced by a large permanent callus on his left cheek. Her palm contained a matching callus. 

“Did you actually think I would share a horse with you?” she asked. 

“Well, sort of.” 

“Could you be any more presumptuous? Stop staring at me like that. Just because I’m here doesn’t mean I want you to rip off my clothes and have sex with me.” 

Doban cocked his head. “What does sharing a horse have to do with sex? Did an off-color metaphor suddenly whizz past my head?” 

“I’m not sharing a horse with you. Stop being a baby.” 

“I’m not being a baby. Besides, you’re not supposed to be alive.” 

“Would you prefer I wasn’t?” 

He didn’t answer. 

“I’m not sharing a horse with you,” Mona said. 

“Would you stop saying that? I get it already.” 

“Good.” She thrust out her chin. “Because I’m not.” 



“Does that mean you’re sharing a horse with somebody else?” 

She slapped him again. 

“Wow, your aim is a lot better.” 

“You have no right to ask me that question.” 

“At least tell me why you’re here. Why would you help me after what I…I mean, after what happened?” 

She took a while to answer. “I have my reasons.” 

“Can you share those–” 

A gut-rumbling belch cut him off. Oompus opened his mouth and expunged a finger. It bounced on the floor and rolled. The clovort grinned, then wiped his mouth. “Yum.” He lifted the ankle chains. “You take these off?” 

“Conference time,” Doban said. He summoned Mona to the corner of the bar. 


“Conference. Get your supposed-to-be-dead ass away from the toothy monster. I want to discuss him without getting eaten.” Mona joined Doban in the corner. “Do we really want to unchain him?” he whispered. 

“We can’t just leave him like that. You should ask him to come with us.” 

“Us?” Doban said. “You’re serious about helping me, aren’t you?” 

“I haven’t decided yet. Go free Oompus so we can get out of this tavern.” 

“What if he gets hungry?” 

“Then I guess we’ll feed him.” 

Doban grimaced at the chained behemoth. “What if he gets hungry for one of us? I don’t think we should chance it.” 

“Come on. Look at him. He’s cute.” Mona tilted her head. “In an ‘Ah shucks, sorry I ate the cat’ sort of way.”
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Rogue’s Curse Release Day is Here!

Posted by on Aug 16, 2010 in Adrien Luc-Sanders, Jason Beymer, release day, rogue's curse


I am now a published author, though I don’t feel any different. Meh. Please purchase and read the book. I spent mucho time on it and injected all my heart and soul into every sentence.

And please let me know what you think. My email is always open: jason@beerandtv.com

The book is available for download from several different distributers (Diesel, Borders, MobiPocket, and many more). You can get it delivered straight to your Kindle by purchasing through Amazon, or you can buy directly from my publisher, Lyrical Press, Inc.

If you buy it, let me know so I can give you a big cyber-kiss!
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