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This is where I take to rambling.
The 101-Word Daily Stupor
As the release date for Rogue’s Curse looms (8/16), I need to whore it up big time. So for the next two weeks, I will write one 101-word story a day. Not one word more, not one word less (excluding title). Feel free to play along at home. Here’s how to play: Each story will contain 3 keywords (ie. Pickle, Happenstance, Diaper). Write your own story incorporating these words, then post that sumbitch as a comment. You can choose any day and any set of keywords, just keep your gem at 101. I will highlight the best contributions on my blog. (And, um, keep it PG-ish, please. My aunt in Nebraska reads this…) I’ve received many (none) questions; so here’s a FAQ. FAQ: Tell me about the 101-Word Daily Stupor Every day from 8/3/10 – 8/16/10, I will post a story that is 101 words long: not one more, not one less. Why are you doing this? Because I’m desperate. And it’s fun. Can others contribute? Of course! Post your own 101-word story in the comments using the 3 keywords provided. Can others provide keywords? Yes! Post them in comments. Isn’t this just a gimmick? Well… I suppose— Why should I care? I never said— What time are you coming home? I told you. I’m a grown-ass man. Back off. When is your little book coming out, Jason? Sigh. My little book comes out on August 16th. Where’s the money you owe me? I’m good for it. What if nobody comments? I can count my readership on one hand, so my expectations are low. I’ll be giddy if I get more than two. You suck. Thank you. Now pay...
read moreNether
I signed a new contract with Lyrical Press, Inc. for an Urban Fantasy/Comedy “Nether.” No release date yet, but I’ll keep you updated.
read more101 Word Story – Love in Jersey
Janet Reid held a contest on her blog: 101-word story using the words RaggedyAnn, double agent, Jersey, coffee, and Razzmatazz. Didn’t win, but I had a blast with the challenge. Here’s what I did with it: Love in Jersey She waddles into Starbucks, the word “Love” stretched across her RaggedyAnn butt cheeks like pulled taffy. New Jersey winters are made for coffee and warmth; “Love” is only a byproduct. The barista says good morning to her, the RaggedyAnn says, “Razzmatazz, triple shot, no foam.” She waits for her drink, hikes up her “Love” and catches me staring. Do you want to partake in “Love?” her eyes ask. I hold up my wedding band in reply. I’m no double agent who can juggle both those cheeks and the cold, disinterested ones at home. Disappointed, Love leaves, letting in the...
read moreWESTERN BEATRICE CLOVORT ADVISORY
WESTERN BEATRICE CLOVORT ADVISORY For immediate release by the Office of Clovort Reduccion: A clovort’s mouth is a dirty thing. It is best to keep all digits and appendages clear of its gray lips. On the rare occasion you discover an intelligent clovort, do not engage it in conversation. They are manipulative, and you might find yourself asking the clovort to taste you. In reply, the clovort will nod sheepishly and respond with, “All right. If you insist.” If you spot a clovort while walking through the woods, do not stretch out your arms and make hooting noises to scare it away. This will not work. Do not tap the clovort on the nose. Do not urinate, fall to the ground and curl into a ball, stare it straight in the eye or turn around and run. All of these things will only make you more appetizing. The best course of action is to roll yourself in milk and pray the clovort is lactose intolerant. If possible, and if not at risk to your physical intactness, tag the clovort with a personalized beacon dart. Then, when you visit the Office of Clovort Reduccion to file a complaint of clovort harassment, we will know whom to give credit to once we have captured the beast. Any citizen caught using a clovort for manual labor will be punished severely. Given the relative girth of the clovort—usually six hundred pounds and eight feet tall—this prospect may tempt farmers. These beasts are exceptional at pulling ox carts and plowing the fields. However, farming jobs should be awarded to law-abiding citizens and not abominations of God. Your elected officials are working tirelessly to rid Western Beatrice of this infestation. Despite our best intentions, we are constantly affronted by attacks from Clovort Right’s groups. Rest assured, King Perlezod and the Office of Clovort Reduccion will prevail. We count on your efforts to eradicate this abomination and create a clovort-free society for you, your children and your children’s children. The Office thanks you for your cooperation. In August 2010 the clovort threat to personal liberty will escalate as Lyrical Press releases Rogue’s Curse. Until then, lock your...
read moreRogue’s Curse
Two thousand years after the Rapture, the world still sucks. The talisman responsible for the Rapture has embedded itself in Doban’s chest, making him the most wanted rogue in history. Pursued by a biblical prophet intent on ripping the talisman out, Doban must seek help from the only woman who ever loved him–a woman he once left to die in a tomb. Can they let go of the past long enough to stop a second Rapture? Warning: This title contains graphic violence, off-kilter copulation, and nasty...
read moreKilling Peter Rabbit
I guest-blogged at my editor’s site today. Please come take a look:Killing Peter...
read moreQuirky Characters
Where do the best character quirks come from? I posted some tips at the Lyrical Press blog: Watch the Eyes
read moreNew Flash Fiction!
Click on the “Stories” link above, or HERE to see my flash fiction page.
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